MJL (my Fiance) and I met around 10 years ago (wow that doesn't feel that long ago!) but we have been together over 3 and a half years now. We have been through a lot in the short time together, but somehow we always manage to come out of things better and stronger. We now live together in our quaint home, with 2 children and a dog.
Where and when we first met
MJL and I met at the local Michel's Patisserie roughly 10 years ago. I was working full time there as a barista/ service person and MJL worked at the local IMB bank. I remember standing at the coffee machine one day, and my friend beside me said "He's cute!" Now I am the type of person that my face tells all. When I am embarrassed I am as red as a tomato! At this stage, I was even brighter than that I think. My friend saw and squealed "oh you like him! Go for it I say!" I was totally embarrassed.
I remember one day I was on my lunch break. Usually I would eat my lunch at one of the tables in the cafe and just relax for my break. MJL was there having a coffee. He came over and said "Hey can I join you?" I remember the feeling washing over me. The "OH MY GOSH!" feeling. I agreed and he sat with me having lunch and coffee. I remember thinking 'this guy is pretty great! But could he like me back?'
I remember talking about everything, our likes our dislikes. I remember feeling it was so easy to talk to him. Even though I was nervous, I was relaxed talking with him. Sitting in the local cafe I remember thinking 'oh man I hope no one I know walks past and sees us sitting there...' As far as I know luck was on my side, because I never heard of anyone seeing us having lunch together. Not that I would truly mind, but hey it would be awkward! (OJs favourite word at the moment...awkward)
If memory serves me right, we had this little lunch date a few times (when we could arrange lunch breaks together. Which usually meant MJL coming in and seeing if I could go on break at the same time.) Looking back I really wish I had gotten his number because one lunch break we were sitting there and he said "I am moving away for work." I was heart fallen. I remember thinking 'he obviously doesn't like me.'
The in between stage
After the lunch date where MJL said he was leaving, we didn't see each other for several years. In the mean time I met OJ's father, fell pregnant and had OJ. I had also met another guy and was with him for a few years too. I really do believe that things happen in life for a reason. I was meant to have OJ in my life- but I was meant to do that by myself. I was meant to have the later relationship as it taught me a lot of things. Mostly about myself and how to be true to me.
Both relationships have given me a lot of lessons, and a lot of anxieties. (I will go into that a little bit more later) but they were meant to be.
The re-meeting
When they say the world is a small place, they must be referring to my local area! My family have been known to go for dinner at the local club quite regularly. Though at a time we had swapped to going to the RSL. We had decided this one night to back to the Bowling Club for a change. (There has been a constant rotation between RSL- Bowlo- Pub)
I remember walking through the club and seeing this face of a guy that I swear I knew but couldn't picture how I knew him just yet. Sitting having dinner with Mum and Dad it hit me. It was MJL! He kept looking over and smiling at me, I kept looking at him smiling. But we didn't walk up to each other. (Looking back I wish I had just walked over. It would have been so much easier!)
We added each other on Facebook. Yay for new age technologies and social media! We began talking over messenger the following few days. We talked about our lives and through what had happened between seeing each other. It felt easy again to talk to him. I was in the relationship (stated above) and when I mentioned this to MJL he was a gentleman and said he would stop messaging for not wanting to cause any issues. (This made me melt even more!) I tried to ignore what I was feeling for him, and we stopped messaging for a little while.
Our first date
My relationship came to a very hurtful conclusion and I began talking to MJL over facebook messenger again. I remember staying up until all hours messaging, only to begin messaging the following morning. We messaged each other for the weeks that followed continuously.
MJL asked if I would meet up with him. Maybe catch a movie. I remember sitting there debating over it for almost 3 hours. I knew I wanted to. But what if I took the risk and it turned out to be horrible? Eventually I said yes. We arranged a day/ time to go see a movie, and I asked my mum if it was okay to go and she to look after OJ. Except I said I was going with a girl friend to see a movie... (sorry mum and dad!) I didn't know how my parents would react if I said I was meeting a guy for a movie.
We went to Hoyts to see a movie. To be honest I can't remember the name of it, or even what it was about. (Don't think like that!!) I was so nervous I could hardly sit still, and MJL gave commentary throughout the whole thing that I was laughing so much and not really concentrating on the movie. I remember he leaned over to hold my hand and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I was super nervous! We both laugh about that now.
We walked out of the movie, and he walked me to my car (super sweet!) I remember standing there jittering. I had no idea why I was so nervous. He is an amazing guy, and I could even tell that at the time.
For those wondering, Yes we did kiss. (as OJ would say EWWWW) and I remember the immense overjoyed feeling as I drove home. All the same time feeling guilty over liking someone so soon after a break up.
The following months
After the first date we had decided that several steps needed to happen- MJL had to meet my parents to just un-complicate things, and to meet OJ when she was ready for it. To be honest the meeting with my parents went really well, the meeting with OJ over the time was quite rocky.
We decided to move in together, as we were spending most nights together anyway and it seemed the logical choice. The first night at MJL's house with OJ was definitely interesting, especially when she locked herself in the toilet!! (For the win!....not!)
Over the first few months it came up about OJ liking MJL or even loving. One night we were laying in her bedroom (only with a mattress on the floor at that stage) and she said "I don't want to love him. I don't want to love him and he leave me." My heart was completely broken. My little girl had attachment issues and she was only so little! She now calls him her Daddy and tells him daily how much she loves him. But in those beginning stages it was very hard for OJ and MJL. They had to build up their trust in each other as well as building their relationship.
Within the first 12 months of our relationship I lost count of the panic attacks I had, and the amount of times MJL would be woken from sleep only to have to try settle me back to reality, rubbing my back and telling me "it will be okay." He learned pretty damn quickly what worked with me during a panic attack and things that do not work. He has always been amazing with my panic attacks. Each time I would settle my breathing back down, my heart rate back and would lay there completely and utterly exhausted. He would cuddle me and tell me how much I mean to him and how much I love him. I would feel safe. I knew early on that this was a man I couldn't lose. I didn't want him to go anywhere.
As I said before the relationships in my past have given me some pretty damn worrying anxieties, and my panic attacks usually center around these anxieties. Especially of those thoughts of MJL leaving or things suddenly spiralling out of my control. In my usual thinking I know how silly this is, but in those moments it takes over. Knowing MJL is there beside me, always brings me back to where I should be.
Our relationship took a huge step to the side the past 12 months. We wanted to try have a baby, and though it did take a little while we fell pregnant with bubs.
Having bubs come into our little family has seen to a huge change in our relationship. In many ways it has taken a huge toll on things.
Having said that, I know things are going to be okay. After telling MJL how much I have been struggling he has taken a leave from work for the week in order to be here for me. He is definitely a keeper!
Our relationship has had some hurdles, and some pretty rough moments. Some of the things MJL has coped with, it doesn't seem fair. But I know things are going to be okay, because through it all we were meant to be together. We met each other, we moved apart, only to find each other again. Fate? Yeah I think so.
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