Yesterday was my 30th Birthday. I cannot believe how quick the past 10 years have gone! Doesn't feel that long ago I was turning 20.
Last night I lay there thinking about life in general and how my "big birthdays" have gone. I was one of the first in my friends group to turn 18 so I didn't have the typical 18th Birthday of going out drinking and clubbing. Instead I had a home party and ended up with Gastro for 2 days following it. Have to say- wasn't the greatest!!
For my 21st I was heavily pregnant. I had an amazing party down at the RSL where my family and friends came. But by the end of the night I was exhausted. It really was taxing on me.
From there my birthdays have been pretty laid back. I haven't had big parties, I haven't done anything really big. We have had lovely dinners out, or had dinners at home with family. I'm not a big party type of person.
Now its my 30th Birthday and I have a newborn baby. When I was asked from MJL what I wanted to do for my 30th I said all I want is to go to the Seafood Lagoon Restaurant in Wollongong. It's a pretty fancy place and I wanted to celebrate with a romantic dinner out. I didn't want the big party, I didn't want the huge fuss. I just wanted to do something special.
I am not saying all this because I regret how things have turned out. I just have this small part of me that wishes I had a "normal" life timeline where things fell into place where they should.
At dinner we sat talking about children and life and we discussed what the future might look like for us. We discussed work and the idea of me not going back to work full time but going back casually.
It was good to reconnect with him and have time for us. Something that gets put on the side when there is a newborn involved.
At the end of the night I reminded myself... I am now 30! It is still hard to believe. I remember thinking when I was younger that life goes in a certain way:
- You finish school
- You go to uni
- You get a career
- You get engaged
- You get married
- You have children
- You have everything in place
I feel in every single step of that I have gone in a tangled up way. I finished school and then went to college to get into uni. I had my first child before I finished uni to get my career. I got my career and got engaged when having my second. We are still talking about when we will get married...
I am a firm believer that life only gives you what you are meant to have. Things happen for a reason. My life is where it is because that's what it's meant to be. I am happy with that.
My biggest thing at the moment is that I don't want this part to stop. I like not going to work, and being a Stay at home mum (SAHM). I like being able to bond with my children. I like having this time at home. I don't want it to stop.
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